To hate,
I despise your actions because it caused me pain, heartache, and shuttered dreams. You pushed me to a cliff without catching me. You let me fall. Then, you pretend you care until you slowly vanished into thin air. I’m injured. You left. This is me alone. Unsecured. Unloved. Confused. I was alone in this place of unknown. Imagining what if… why… or how it end up like this. Too much of uncertainty, I became too foolish to look out for answers. I kept on blaming myself… But I stop, then, the time let me realized, you made me strong. Unfortunately, I became allergic to bullshit. I itch everytime, they’re near me. I sneeze when they talk. Thanks to you. I know how to prevent a virus like you. P.S. I hate u no more. Acceptance is the key.
xoxo,
Stronger.
Nida,
Nida blanca Gusto kita makausap! Alam mo bang affected akong tunay noong nalaman kong namatay ka na? natatakot kasi ako, feeling ko dadalawin mo ko. Pag tagal narealize ko na, hindi mo nga ko kilala. Adik lang! hahaha
xoxo,
matatakutin na bata
To my friends (in elementary, highschool, of course! college),
I miss you all. Years before, we almost talk to each other like everyday in our lives, we never thought it might end as easy as that. For the reason, that we need to go to different schools, I need to live here in P'que and so on and so on... First, in my adjusting period, I felt nostalgic and crazy thinking of all the moments we have together. As time pass, I need to move on and live a life. I found new friends, new crowd and new environment. We sometimes don't have time to talk to each other. I'm sorry. I keep in touch naman once in a while. Syempre, you have your life din. But if you're not busy, let me know. Lets bond with each other. hahaha I mean bonding tayo! If there's a way there's a will. True! Pag gusto ko talaga sumama, I'll find a way. Except kung may nauna na. You know, first come first service basis ang batayan sa gimick or kung saan feel ko mas masaya. Join ako! haha Even though, I don't see you as much I want to buti na lang nadyan ang FB. Makita ko lang you're smiling in your picture. I'm happy and communication is so much easy these days. We have internet, cellphone, FB and other technologies. There's no reason for not catching up. On the other hand, seeing you all in the flesh is much exciting and enjoying. I could hear your voices and all the famous banats that would make me laugh then cry at the same time (i miss those moments). Reminiscing the happy, sad, retard moments we've been thru. The undying funny tactics we can't stop doing and the heart to heart talks that always made our day.
If only I'm rich, I'll buy a subdivision and we'll live next with each other. Party all the time! I imagine how life will it be. So fun! If I am bored I'll just press the door bell in your gate and ta-da. Bonding moments! How cool will it be, right? Anyways, i'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Call me, text me if you wanna reach me. Okey?! My lines are open 24/7.
I miss you all. Years before, we almost talk to each other like everyday in our lives, we never thought it might end as easy as that. For the reason, that we need to go to different schools, I need to live here in P'que and so on and so on... First, in my adjusting period, I felt nostalgic and crazy thinking of all the moments we have together. As time pass, I need to move on and live a life. I found new friends, new crowd and new environment. We sometimes don't have time to talk to each other. I'm sorry. I keep in touch naman once in a while. Syempre, you have your life din. But if you're not busy, let me know. Lets bond with each other. hahaha I mean bonding tayo! If there's a way there's a will. True! Pag gusto ko talaga sumama, I'll find a way. Except kung may nauna na. You know, first come first service basis ang batayan sa gimick or kung saan feel ko mas masaya. Join ako! haha Even though, I don't see you as much I want to buti na lang nadyan ang FB. Makita ko lang you're smiling in your picture. I'm happy and communication is so much easy these days. We have internet, cellphone, FB and other technologies. There's no reason for not catching up. On the other hand, seeing you all in the flesh is much exciting and enjoying. I could hear your voices and all the famous banats that would make me laugh then cry at the same time (i miss those moments). Reminiscing the happy, sad, retard moments we've been thru. The undying funny tactics we can't stop doing and the heart to heart talks that always made our day.
If only I'm rich, I'll buy a subdivision and we'll live next with each other. Party all the time! I imagine how life will it be. So fun! If I am bored I'll just press the door bell in your gate and ta-da. Bonding moments! How cool will it be, right? Anyways, i'm always here if you need someone to talk to. Call me, text me if you wanna reach me. Okey?! My lines are open 24/7.
xoxo,
someone missing you
someone missing you
Dear Someone,
For now, I don't have any particular person, who I really want to meet, but I 'm hoping someone who will inspire me to do good. To motivate me in so many ways. To open my mind to the wonders of the world. Someone who will bring me closer to God. To teach me to be thankful from every blessings I'll receive. I don't care if it will be a HE or a SHE, as long as he/she will help and inspire me to be a better person. Maybe it might be my new officemates, new friends, random different person or someone famous (as if i have the chance). I know, everything has a purpose. Whoever you are. I'm here! excitedly waiting. =)
xoxo,
someone ready to be inspired
Dearest Big Dreams,
*Intro* Dreams are my reality nanananana... song yan! :)) Hey Dream! I wish someday you'll be my reality. I have a lot of dreams! Plenty plenty! Like to be a billionaire so freaking bad! Or to travel the world. Sometimes I wish I was born rich but then again. I'm happy with my life.
Seriously, I'll enumerate 3 of my dreams.. First, to be with you? haha kiddin. Hindi yan first. Last. hahaha ano ba yan. Again again. My number one dream is to be an archiver with my career. I'll be a boss na pakape kape na lang tska sipol sipol and earn loads of money. If ever, I want my own business at the same time.
Second will be... To have my own house that is fully furnished. Nakainterior pa kung baga. haha Para hindi na ko NPA(no permanent address) Plus swimming pool and gym. Wow. Don't forget the home entertainment room. That's what I called "Dream House".
Third will be just simple... To have someone to share my dreams with... Aaaiiiyyeee! me ganun talaga! hahaha Para saan pa ang lahat ng blessing kung wala naman ako kashare, I'm I right or I'm super right?! Family in the future. Tipong ten years pa dapat yan! hehe I'm not rushing things. Mauna muna ang dapat mauna. Career at kayamanan. Whatever.
God will be my decision maker. Actually, I let go of my dreams and I let God do His will. I know it will be the best. Come what may! I'm ready to be surprise. Only God knows. He will provide.
xoxo,
a dreamer
In
life,
love
Day 3: Parents
Dearest Parents,
Thank you for bringing me to this wonderful world. For letting me experience how to live and to be independent is very important to me. I can stand by my own. If time comes, pinalayas nyo na ko okey lang. haha I’ve been sometimes stubborn or maybe rude, I’m sorry. There are times I think you’re being immature or not understanding or considering my feelings. I might look like I’m strong outside but deep inside I’m weak. I need someone to let me know they appreciate my little or big efforts for being a good child.
To my father, you turned your back at your responsibilities, to your wife, to your daughters, in short to us. Its fine it made us strong. It made my mom to strive harder for us. I don’t have any grudges towards you. Every thing has its purpose. I appreciate that we still have a communication once in a while. But you almost miss my entire life. My only wish is DSLR ko. You told me graduation, last month of March, April pass by, June and July is over. August is now starting. Well, I'll stop expecting so there will be no disappointment. Right? hahaha But still wishing you come into your senses. Pray pray...
To my mother, a big hug for you! Thanks for being there for us no matter what. Even I'm so lazy at times or so stubborn. I know I not an affectionate person, it stop when I grew up. I dunno. Maybe people around aren't like that affectionate too. We're like close friends at times. Sometimes I think, I'm more matured than you. haha You complain and nag about small or big things. It irritates me. If you don't want to happen again do some actions please, not just blurting it every time you have the chance. I'm not fan of people, who complains about every thing in life. One word: "ANNOYING". I want to tell you, Good Job! You raising as to be a better person. Actually, 50% from my grandparents. Anyways, sorry for my behavior at times. I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be the best I can. Just a little appreciation is all I need. I'll work hard for our future. We'll have our own house soon. We'll be rich. Stand still and be ready.
For both of them, I learned a lot from all of you. Keep on praying. Don't forget that God should be the center of our lives. Take care always coz I care a lot even if doesn't show. LOVELOVE.
xoxo,
your daughter
Dearest Long Time Crush,
Hi. Hello. *pacute mode* How are you? haven't seen you for so long. Buhay ka pa kaya? I want to tell you something. CRUSH KITA! :)) Funny it may seems pero I like you from the day I first saw you at the church like almost 9 years ago, I guess. Oo sige na, OA! Everything's overrated! Well, I don't even know your name I just know you from your face. Basta makita kita, yun si crush! Ewan ko ba kung bakit kita crush pero we don't even have a close connection to each other. We don't have common friends or something. We just have one in common, we always go to the same church. You're not even my typical crush because you lack height, you smoke, and you have "poknat" somewhere in your head. (pati yun pansin ko??)
Why I admire you? It's the way you serve the Lord. It's the way you pray at mass. To look someone so sincere when he prays. Shet! my heart melts. Not all the guys are like you. You look maangas or snobero but there's something within you is different. I dunno. Hindi pa naman kita nakakasama personally pero wolo long, unexplainable feeling. haha
Dati madalas kita makita, *kilig kilig* Alam mo bang, I always keep on my eyes on you everytime you're around. Of course! I don't make it obvious. Ewan ko nga ba kung hindi mo ko nakikita patingin tingin. :)) Alam mo yung kahit sobrang tiny chance that we will know each other, I can't let go before. Kahit 1% lang yun I'm still hoping. Ganun talaga ako sa lahat ng crush ko, swerte mo lang ikaw pinkapatagal kong crush. There's a moment in my life before that keeps telling myself, 10years from now noon e “baka lang” someday somehow e alam mo na, we are fated for each other. nyak! cheesssyyyy! Syempre sa ngyon hindi na, wala na un. Things change. Natangap ko na ang kapalaran na mas mdami pa dyan. hehehe I saw your facebook, I want to add you sana, para makapagstalk man lang syo. Isipin mo yun, inisa isa ko un friends ng friend mo until I found your account. (stalker nga akong tunay hehehe) I choose not to add you. Wag na lang. Baka lalo lang kita maging crushiiieee. Kung someday we'll have the chance to be friends. Okey na ko dun, at least we are friends. Just to see you in flesh makes me tumbling around what more if we will be a friend that’s enough for me. Now, I'm seeing myself with someone else.(me ganun?)hahaha Hindi tulad ng dati, if a guy what's to court me, I consider you always. =)) hibang na ko. Bata pa ko nun, sensya na, abnormal lang.
I wish you good luck and happiness too. See you when I see you!
xoxo,
your stalker
your stalker
Dearest Best Friend,
You know who you are. I'm thankful because you are always there to remind me of who I am. For keeping in touch time to time. For laughing at my corniest jokes and clumsiness. We've been best friends for almost eight or seven years. No doubt you're really a good person inside and out. As we call each other as "Sis" (short for sisters), I'm sure you're my long lost sister. We are partners in crime. We love to talk and back-stabbed other people. hahaha kiddin. We share a lot of many common interest that helps us to be bonded even more. We don't have secrets. We know each other very well.
As time passes by, nothings change. We still laugh at the people we love to laugh about. hahaha kiddin. We laugh at our own sablay moments that we could not stop laughing even though we are in the streets walking, in the escalator, in the jeepney or anywhere as long as we are together. Meeting new interesting people are one of the things we want to explore. We are fun and happy people. To sleepovers, outings, parties, booze night or just chilling at your house, solve kung solve. The most important is we have each others company. We are like twins separated by birth. We like kikay things, girly things or whatever thingy it is. I am so lucky to met someone who is pretty(like moi), kind, friendly and always on the go without pretenses. REAL PERSON. Not like others who are back stabbing little bitches when you're gone. You have no chance to be like them because you're straight forward, you say what you feel and that's what real people should do. NAKS!
Moreover, as we were in highschool even crushes we shared, sometimes until now share pa din tayo. Mainis sa mga aurabells at sa mga feelingerang kerokoroppi nagkakasundo talaga tayo. Pati sa pag simba tapos papaload ka sa ruins after ng mass. hehe Volunteer sa red cross and until now we still have communication with them, kasama na din pumarty. Maiwan ako na jeep tapos ikaw nakasakay na. the best! Magintay ng NBI clearance na super tagal at ang init init. Jogging moments na parang ikaw couch ko, pinapatakbo mo lang ako na pinapatakbo tapos ikaw nakaupo lang may patimer timer pa nalalaman. Photowalks natin with bff John, tapos hindi na inaupload at hanggang nagyon hindi pa nakikita yung iba. Basta sobrang dami na natin memories together. Wala na tatalo dun, promise. EPIC! hahaha
In life, there will be always ups and downs and I'm sure we will have each other. To be strong and brave to face all of them. We can do it. Lalo ka na best girlscout ka di ba? Always pray and always believe in the Lord. He will guide you. If you're encountering major issues in your life, just think positive wag agad aayaw. haha I'll be here. Just call or text me, dito lang ako party tayo. Advance happy birthday gift ko na din 'to syo! Letter ko sayo nasa blog ko pa. TARUSH! Thanks for the friendship and moments we shared thru the years. I love you sis! You are the BFF! Best Best friend ever.
xoxo,
sis
Some called it TWIN SOUL or TWIN FLAME. Cheesy as it may seem, that’s the topic all about. Have you felt that you’ve met your own soulmate? Have I? Well, weird but I can’t stop to think of it that maybe or somehow I met him. Hahaha Oo na, ako na ang feeling-ngerang kokak. Hahaha I can feel it. I want to divert my thought about him unfortunately, I can not. I just can’t. It’s like I am talking to myself, every time we have the chance to talk. He makes me feel I’m not alone. He’s like the guy version of me. Even though I met him in flesh for a few times, I felt like I known him for so long. We don’t have a chance to see each other as much I or we want. I dunno if he wants to see me. Parang ewan ko, hindi natutuloy. Feeling-ngerang kokak nga kase ako e. hahahaha. Neber minds… Pretend you never read that part. Right now, I am on the phase of my life that I have the desire to meet and to mingle with a lot of people though I’m a little timid at times. I should be outgoing! Fear factor! hahaha If I tried to have a deeper conversation with different and new people it feels like he/ she is trusting me with his/her life. It feels great! I'm happy for some simple ways of sharing he/her life with me. It also a way to find the "SOULMATE" I've been looking for. I'm sure it will be a big step to be closer and closer to the one. It might not the one that I expect but it will be the one that I'll be getting along for so long. We might not end up with each other, but who knows. Only God knows. Keep on praying for the right one and God will give the one you deserve not the one you want. Everyday I have the reason to be excited and to be surprised. I'm just preparing myself that it might be YOU. :))
END.
It’s been a while since I was assigned in graveyard shift. Poor little me! I was like wut?! Seriously? First job and yeah graveyard. I pity myself. Haha Because everytime I went to the office people were going home but me no! haha Sadness. TRUE! I am not really used to it. First week was nightmare!!! Sleepy much. I can’t help to be sleepy for every time I have a chance. ZOMBIE! That’s me! I have no choice. Why me? That’s the only question puffs into my mind. But as time comes, I’m adjusting and adjusting. I can do it. I’m the best. Hahaha Just being positive all the time. Doubts really came up to my head. I can’t stop but to overthink any situation. Kulang lang pala ako sa tulog narealize ko kaya drama dramahan ako minsan.
From now on, ako na si Bella at ikaw na ang Edward ko. Pwede na din ako maging si batgirl basta ikaw ang batman ko. =)) Taong panggabi! Ako na nga kong ako na! haha See? I’m starting to be cranky. Hahaha forgive me! When I came out in our office, my eyes hurts because of the sunshine, so I always wear my shades. Hindi na ko nag-aayos kasi naman, wala ng makakakita sa akin. Dilim e. Make up?? Nakakatamad. Too lazy to fix myself. But when I’m out with my friends or family dun na lang bumabawi sa pag-aayos ng itsura. Eyebags?? My number one dilemma! Dark circles around my eyes? Bullshit! Pumapangit na talaga ako,. Hahaha kaya gusto ko na magresign minsan e. Just kidding. Ibang topic na pag resign ang pinaguusapan. Okie? Next time.
Food for thought:
“ Things change and everything changes.
All we can do is to adopt and to accept.”
End.
I missed blogging! I know no ones viewing this page. I'll be blogging soon! I have a lot of rants to tell. I promise. Because right now, work mode and all. I can't blog at home (sleep or resting agad) and especially at the office. I'm shy. Maybe they'll see my entry. Sabihin pa drama ko. Minsan lang naman. hahaha I'll have a long enrty someday! Just give me time. =)
SOON.
End.
